Jon Steingard, the long-time lead singer of the Christian music band Hawk Nelson, introduced on Instagram that he now not believes in God.
Steingard mentioned that he had been terrified to jot down the submit for some time, however he needed to be clear. He additionally defined that he didn’t need to debate with anybody, however encourage others who felt that their religion was waning.
In response to a touch upon Hawk Nelson’s web site, Steingard’s bandmates knew that he had been struggling for some time:
As a few of you recognize Jon and Jess launched into the household life this yr with the addition of Lil G, aka Gray. He’s the bomb diggity, however after no sleep and many adjusting, I noticed it take a toll on Jon personally. I knew household was extra necessary than this album, so I requested him to place all of it on maintain. Possibly endlessly, perhaps till it was proper. These guys I get to share this band with, are household. And household ought to all the time come first. It made me query simply how exhausting we ought to be pushing to “make” this album … However Jon blew me away, once more, as he does every album. He doubled down. We and also you and all bought deep into prayer and requested for assist.
Steingard Joined Hawk Nelson In 2004
In response to Steingard, he was a pastor’s youngster and grew up with Christianity having a serious affect in his life since childhood. Steingard was the oldest of three kids and he began studying find out how to play the guitar when he was 9 years outdated, in keeping with Information Launch Immediately.
Steingard grew to become the lead singer of the punk-pop Christian band Hawk Nelson in 2004, Information Launch Immediately reported. He was 20 years outdated, he mentioned in his submit, and the band didn’t begin out overtly Christian, however finally grew to become that manner. The band had really began in 2000 when lead singer Jason Dunn, guitarist Davin Clark and drummer Matt Paige began a gaggle known as SWISH, in keeping with Tidal. In 2002, Daniel Biro grew to become the group’s new bass participant and the group modified its title. In 2004, Steingard — additionally a guitarist — changed David Clark and he grew to become the lead vocalist when Jason Dunn left the group in 2012.
Steingard married Jessica Hubbard in March of 2007 and so they lived in Nashville, Tennessee, in keeping with Information Launch Immediately. The couple moved to San Diego, California the place they presently reside. Steingard can be a filmmaker and director at Steingard Inventive.
Steingard Stated His Doubts Started In His Youth
Steingard mentioned his household was all the time in regards to the church and grew up with a shared perception so “central to every little thing, you merely undertake it.” Steingard mentioned that he was an ardent follower of Christianity, praying for indicators and taking part in church, youth teams, conferences and ministry. Nonetheless, even then, he mentioned he was disturbed by a few of the issues he noticed:
Praying in public all the time felt like some sort of bizarre efficiency artwork. Emotional cries akin to “Holy Spirit come fill this place” all the time felt clunky and awkward leaving my lips. A youth convention I attended inspired each teen to signal a pledge that they might “date Jesus” for a yr. It felt manipulative and unsettling to me. I didn’t signal it.
Steingard mentioned he reflexively ignored his doubts and thought he was overthinking it. Nonetheless, he mentioned he finally began questioning the issue of evil and particularly, “pure evil” — hurricanes, illness, and so forth.
He mentioned he grew to become disturbed by how God’s change in demeanor from the Outdated Testomony to the New Testomony in addition to how a lot killing he realized was part of the Bible. He additionally mentioned he was disturbed about contradictions he discovered within the Bible and was dissatisfied with the solutions he bought.
I used to be asking a few verse in 1 Timothy that appears actually oppressive of girls. It signifies that girls shouldn’t be in church management, shouldn’t educate males and shouldn’t put on their hair in braids. To me, that appeared much less just like the message of the loving God that almost all Christians imagine in now, and extra just like the concepts that may have been current within the tradition on the time … a male-dominated society the place ladies had been handled much less like equals and extra like property.
Steingard mentioned his father-in-law, additionally a pastor, instructed him to learn the Bible in its authentic Greek. However Steingard mentioned the thought that the Bible was imperfect despatched him spiraling right into a despair.
As soon as I discovered that I didn’t imagine the Bible was the right Phrase of God — it didn’t take lengthy to understand that I used to be now not certain he was there in any respect. That thought terrified me. It despatched me right into a tailspin … Over the previous yr I’ve often talked about publicly my struggles with despair. That is what actually kicked that off.
He mentioned questions on his religion, and particularly what he ought to educate his kids, “led me into a really darkish place for some time.”
Steingard Stated His Perception In Christianity Slowly Light Time beyond regulation
In his submit, Steingard mentioned he may now not disguise the wrestle he was having along with his religion and felt like it might be disingenuous to withhold it, describing it as a sweater that unraveled over time:
The method of attending to that sentence has been a number of years within the making. It didn’t occur in a single day or hastily. It’s been extra like pulling on the threads of a sweater, and sooner or later discovering that there was no extra sweater left.
He additionally mentioned that he was “shocked” by what number of different Christians he knew who felt the identical. Steingard famous that with the band being much less productive, he had much less to lose — “… we’ve all discovered different work and careers to concentrate on in the intervening time. So as to make certain I’m in a position to hold offering for my household, that needed to be the case earlier than I could possibly be completely trustworthy — and that reality is likely one of the points I’ve with the church and Christian tradition generally.”
Steingard additionally mentioned that he was not mendacity throughout his profession in Christian music, however finally, the threads of doubt that he was experiencing grew to become an excessive amount of for him.
Steingard mentioned that he is aware of his household is grieving due to his resolution, however have nonetheless proven him “unimaginable love and assist.”
Steingard mentioned that he was open to the concept that God was there, but when he was there, he believes that he’s totally different from what he was taught. He mentioned that he and his spouse felt like Christianity was extra of an obligation than a calling.
We didn’t get pleasure from going to church. We didn’t get pleasure from studying the Bible. We didn’t get pleasure from praying. We didn’t get pleasure from worship. All of it felt like obligation, and our lack of enthusiasm about these issues all the time made us really feel like one thing was incorrect with us. Now I don’t imagine something was incorrect with us. We merely didn’t imagine — and we had been too afraid to confess that to ourselves. So in that sense, now we have an amazing sense of aid now.
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